Day 2 of the Capture Your Grief project is a self portrait before your loss. I had a harder time with this one, probably because I put too much thought and I should have just let it flow from my heart. The first thought that came into my mind was to use the picture I did end up using; however I debated whether to use this picture most of the day, even discussing the topic with my patient hubby. I have always felt I looked extremely tired and maybe a little sickly in the picture. Of course I was tired, I was 10 weeks pregnant and had walked around the zoo all day with a 3 year old and 7 year old in a wagon, running to the bathroom every few minutes because the 3 year old kept drinking too much water :) So of course I was tired! But I was concerned with using the portrait because it doesn't show the extreme joy I was feeling. I debated on using a wedding pic (you know good old naive newlyweds), or a fancy dressed up photo... I ended up going with my gut because I remember how excited we were all day that even though our baby was still in the womb, he/she (because we didn't know at the time our baby was a girl) was at the zoo with Mommy and Daddy for her cousin's 1st birthday. Her 7 yr old aunt and 3 yr old 2nd cousin were also there, along with another aunt, 2 uncles and a grandma. If you know me, you know that I am an absolute animal person and I LOVE anything where I can be around animals and I LOVE going to the zoo. J (my hubby) and I kept talking throughout our zoo trip about getting a zoo membership so that when Peanut was born we could come often and I could even come when he/she was a little baby and just walk around to get exercise and get the baby out and about. We loved how Baby was experiencing this birthday party, even via the womb :) So I went with this picture. A week and a half later our lives were shattered, but at this moment our world was unbelievably magical.
So here's our Magical Picture...
Until tomorrow,
~T.
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